Via Lucis is Latin. It means Way of Light.
Visit means visit, and some visits mean a lot.
— — — — — — — — —
It all happened on a sunny morning of May…
I was practicing mindfulness in my humble castle, when a burst of light exploded within my empty head, just like a top-notch-flash blows within the walls of a little Romanesque church.
Shocked and tousled, I heard a telepathic message:
-We wish to contact the fabulous Covetotop… We wish to contact the fabulous Covetotop… We wish to contact the fabulous Covetotop…
-Who are you? -I asked with my fabulous mind powers and with my poor English.
– We’r pjandnis of vaicis. How’re ya doin’, hoveop?
– Can you repeat it, please? -I asked with my fabulous mind powers, because I didn’t understand a word.
– We are PJ and Dennis, of Via Lucis. How are you doing, Covetotop? -answered the telepathic voice.
– PJ and Dennis! What a wonderful surprise! I am fine, thank you. And you?
– Everting key’s airplanes!
– Can you repeat it slowly, please?
– Everything is ok; as planned.
– Cvtop, we’re n’ spin. Wild be deleted to hostyalanch day, what da ya thin?
– We have just arrived in Spain. Please, allow us to host you at lunch today.
– Of course! Lunch today! Yes we can!
– One clock a Ken Rocket.
– Great! -I didn’t understand a word again, but I was so embarrassed by my English cognitive functions, that I didn’t dare to ask for further clarifications. So, I said “Great!”, which is a great word to say when you don’t know what to say.
– What? -Dammit. I couldn’t help asking “what?” again.
– See you later, Covetotop!
– See you later, PJ and Dennis!
Our kind telepathic conversation ended. I got up, lit a lamp, sat at my desk and breathed deeply.
I was very excited. I was very excited because of my digital friends’ imminent visit and because I had discovered that my telepathic English was as bad as my spoken English. As a matter of fact, I thought that my friends’ phrase “allow us to host you at lunch” meant that they were coming to my castle to have lunch with me…
I looked around and felt a little shame. I haven’t run the vacuum cleaner over the carpets since 1842 or so. Everything was dirty here and there. And the dinning room was a total mess…
When I realized the situation, I made a significant effort in order to avoid a panic attack, but…
I had to resume my mindfulness exercises urgently, taking control of my breath and focusing my attention on my belly button while cleaning asap my dinning room…
Well. I did a good job. I only needed to get some food. So, I rushed downstairs, towards the castle’s beach, to fish sardines.
I got two and a half tons of sardines. I rushed upstairs, willing to grill the sardines before my digital friends’ arrival.
In a moment of lucidity, I rewinded and played again (in my mind) my digital friends’s telepathic message “One clock a Ken Rocket”.
– Oh my! I was terribly wrong! They actually said “One o’clock at Can Roca”! They want me to have lunch at a restaurant! What a psychological relief! -I exclaimed to myself.
I stopped practicing mindfulness while grilling sardines, and started to think seriously about how should I dress for such a special occasion…
-They’re very cultivated Americans. And they have traveled thousands of miles via Iceland before arriving this far. I cannot show up at the restaurant dressed in jeans and a simple white shirt. I should wear something more formal and ethnic. A pre-Roman Iberian suit from the 4th century BC is perhaps a more adequate apparel. Yes it is -I said to myself.
It seemed an adequate apparel, but in fact it was too old, too heavy and smelled very bad.
– Mmm … Maybe I should wear something lighter. A torero suit, for example, with hat and cape… Ernest Hemingway was American too, and he loved Spain. And he loved bullfighting. I don´t like bullfighting at all, because I love animals (grilled sardines included), but I must act as a very well educated person and dress appropriately (from the ethnological and folkloric point of view) in honor of my friends PJ and Dennis. So, here we go…
No. Definitively no.
– I’d rather show up dressed as a Spanish guitarist from the Romantic period -I said to myself, and… voilà!
– Olé! That´s perfect. Now, I can go to the restaurant at a slow pace, because I have plenty of time before the scheduled lunch time, which is one o’clock -I said to myself.
I had so much time, and I was so relaxed, that I took my eco-friendly mean of transport in stead of my noisy and polluting car:
– Hola! -I said to my eco-friendly mean of transport.
– Hola. ¿A dónde vamos hoy, Covetotop? -it asked me, in Spanish, because my eco-friendly mean of transport doesn’t speak English; and, in any case, it couldn’t make sense a conversation in English between the both of us.
– A Can Roca, y despacito, que no hay prisa -I answered it.
In our way to the restaurant, my wise eco-friendly mean of transport made me a suggestion (I translate it into English, for your convenience):
– I am aware that your friends PJ and Dennis are some of the best photographers in the world, as far as Medieval architecture photography is concerned. I also suppose that they must be working very hard just now, in the old churches of Besalú and surroundings… To this regard, it is mandatory to take into account that, most probably due to the climatic change, temperatures are abnormally high these days. You should invite them to a refreshing ride in your luxurious motorboat after lunch. They will love our Mediterranean coast and its mythological breezes.
My eco-friendly mean of transport is a little nerd, but it was right this time; hence, I accepted its suggestion:
– What a good idea, my dear eco-friendly mean of transport! Turn 180 degrees and rush to my luxurious motorboat! I will polish and clean it a little, before lunch! I think we have enough time to do it! -I said to my eco-etc.
– What does turn 180 degrees mean? -it asked me.
– I am not sure… It has something to do with directions and that sort of concepts. In any case, run as fast as you can to my luxurious motorboat! Now! Go Go Go Go…
We went went went…
And we arrived.
My luxurious motorboat was in a very bad condition.
I had a lot of work to do…
I worked hard.
I cleaned, painted, varnished and brightened my luxurious motorboat.
I got this result:
I ended up exhausted, sunburned, bald and almost naked (due to such superhuman efforts)
I even lost my Spanish guitar.
And I took a selfie, just for the record:
I asked very politely my eco-friendly mean of transport to take me asap to my humble castle. I needed a shower and a new suit. A white suit, to be precise.
My eco-friendly mean of transport took me to my humble castle as fast as it could. Sadly, that was the last service it rendered to me (due to the effort, the abnormally high temperatures and the merciless sun)
Clean and well dressed (white suit), I took my noisy and polluting red car (yellowish later, discolored by the merciless sun too)…
And I drove to Can Roca, where finally I had the pleasure of meeting PJ and Dennis… in the real world!
What a good time we had at the restaurant! I talked in English all the time, and my friends seemed to understand each and every word I said. I was very happy. They mentioned that many of the Catalan churches were closed and their disappointment in not being able to photograph. I was very sorry for that. Then I talked about my wooden boat and so on. We talked about a lot of things and I drank a lot of local red wine, just to speak more fluently in English…
I don’t remember anything more.
I woke up some days later, in my humble castle, just in time to discover that Via Lucis had published a new post…
Its title: “All Hail Covetotop”
My dear little bunch of digital friends: To be sincere, I must admit that I don’t own a castle, a motorboat, a torero suit, a classic car, an eco-friendly mean of transport other than my folding bicycle… Via Lucis, as some of you know, is an astonishing blog about Romanesque architecture. I actually had the pleasure of meeting its authors, PJ and Dennis Aubrey, and having lunch with them, a few days ago, in Catalonia. Now, they are not only my digital friends, but my friends in the real world as well.
They published in Via Lucis an hilarious, fanciful post called “All Hail Covetotop”. And I am overwhelmed. That’s also true.
And my telepathic English is very bad.